Wouldnt ya JUST think she's the sweetest thing in the WHOLE WORLD when you see that face. I would think so. And ususually she is.
HOWEVER, she is almost TWO, and i think it's catching up to her!! This past week, she's had a violent streak with other kids, and is just being super NAUGHTY AND TRYING MY PATIENCE!!!!!! for reals. I don't even know what to do. She's been "hugging" kids, but it's more like she gets them in a headlock and is choking them. ITs absolutely crazy. I get so frustrated. Is she trying to be hurtful or is she trying to just give hugs but is too agressive? Im at a loss. What are your SUGGESTIONS FOR ME ?
12 comments:
uh oh!
Is this too mean if you have a kid a little bigger than her give her a tast of her own medicine.
Maybe she doesn't realize that it hurts.
I think you're doing a great job Ashley and she's just testing your limits. You're a great mom.
you are a great momma and i think she is just maybe being a little too aggressive in a way i don't think any child intends to hurt and this is coming from 8 years in childcare being fully trained haha
uh... We arent there yet. She probably is just hugging to hard and doesnt know it. She is stinking cute though.
Owen is totally a bully in nursery. so we have instituted time outs. Owen doesnt try to hurt the kids but he needs to learn that he is. So we have been doing time outs and it has been working like a charm. When i put him in time out i tell him why he is in there (obviously in 2 year old terms) and then i tell him again when i am taking him out. The "experts" say a minute for every year of their age, but 2 minutes is FOREVER! i usually do about a minute. But it has really helped. Oh and please dont have someone do it back to her, they dont understand that. They are too young for reasoning. Anyway, good luck! This stage is so hard but you will find something that works.
Hey Ashley, I know it's been forever, but I love reading your blog and thought I'd comment.
Our daughter, Rhyen, will be 3 at the end of October. Rhyen has had her share of aggressiveness and over excitement on the playground. But because I don't see malicious intent, I just simply explain to her in a calm, assertive tone, "We do not hit. Hands are not for hitting, hands are for being nice and gentle" It may sound silly, but then I show her, (with her hand) what I mean by gentle. In your case, show her how to hug. Show her what you want.
There may be another element of this if she continues to do it, attention. If she is recognizing a pattern, she may just think it's a fun game...That is why I say calm, assertive, and try not to make too big a deal out of it (emotional wise). Just simply explain to her what it is you want. And then overly, and excitedly praise her when she does it correctly. I say focus on what you want because they are learning. Every new interaction and relationship is a learning experience. Focus on the 'teaching' aspect rather than taking it personal. I have a harder time with that now that Rhyen is speaking in full sentences. Sometimes I have to take a moment to calm down before I can even approach the situation! She will say to me, "Mom, calm down. Mom, don't get mad."
I have personally never used time out for this. Usually, the stern voice (that is not usually exhibited) is enough for Rhyen to realize. But if you feel it's gotten beyond the explaining then I think time out is a great way in handling discipline for improper physical interaction (wow, look at my big words!) Haha. Or you can first, explain, and then if she does it again in that same setting, then do the time out. I think the biggest thing to focus on is our own reactions. How are our emotions when we react to our children? Because they feed off that. If it's just a matter of fact, "hey, we don't do it like that. This is how..." It is easer for them to learn and understand. Where if we are letting our emotional interpretation, "She is being a bully. She is picking on the other kids" it takes away the fundamental element of, "hey, I am a child, and I am just learning."
Okay, so, I ask, just take what is useful and leave the rest. I am living in Kansas, and BoReD, so I may have overly explained all this. Haha. But good luck, and know that you are doing the absolute best you know how. And just remember what an amazing, wonderful blessing your baby girl is! That always helps me. I constantly take a moment to remind myself, I am so grateful for a daughter who is a leader, and who is also independent and strong willed! hahaha. Have a wonderful day. Lots of love.
Hey Girl! This is what I did when Lincoln wass that age: if he hit someone, I went to the crying child holding and gave them all the attention saying, "I'm so sorry you got hit." over and over, just nice things to that child. Lincoln would watch and soon learned that he didn't get much attention for being naughty. Then at home we would practice soft touches. I showed him how to touch things softly and touch him softly on the cheek and repeat "soft"
THat's what worked for us!
good luck
brandi
Hey girlie - I agree with "the Jarrett's". Because she is "hugging" you can tell that she is modeling what she sees adults do and is trying to be loving and doesn't realize it hurts others by where and how hard she is doing it.
When you see her do it to another kid...you have to help her right then - because if you try to teach her the next day because no one else is around...she is too young to make the connection to the fact that you were talking about the incident that happened the day before.
When she does it just hold her arms and put them in a better spot for hugging and show how hard/soft to hug. It might take 10 times of "showing and telling" her but eventually it will sink in and she will get it. But you have to correct it in the moment, or it doesn't really sink in for a little one. I also agree with being really calm and explaining everything in kid terms.
She is a lover :) and it will get better. I bet it has a lot to do with the fact that she is taller than those kids that she plays with enough that it is comfortable for her to reach their neck. Heck...who wants to bend over to give a hug...that is more work :)
Yeah, it's a really hard age! They are SO cute, but at times, SO naughty! I don't really have any advise except ask Heavenly Father to help you handle things they best way you can. I have experienced his help and it is the best way to go!
Oh, and just remember they are only little for a short time.
B has been a lil nasty for the past week or so too (bless his heart, he's just testing me and learning. I love him so.)... no head locks yet though. (LOL... sorry, this is humorous to me. Although I know how frustrating and difficult it is too!) Anyway. I read in a book that "timeout" is the most effective way to get your child to listen and change their ways. They said to think of their acting out as just that... ACTS, or performances. Sortof puts a different perspective on their behavior. Hope that helps... the book I have is called "caring for your baby and young child" and it's excellent. I know you'll figure it out (:
THANK YOU everyone for your comments :)
For now, it's still a day to day process for us :)
THANKS,
ASHLEY
If I knew what to do, then I wouldn't be having the same problems with Grace. Let me know what you come up with
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